Letting go...

"Letting go has never been easy, but holding on can be as difficult. Yet strength is measured not by holding on, but by letting go." 

- Len Santos

Letting go can be difficult. Downright emotional. Stressful. ...and Wonderful.

After more than 3 years of working for the same company, I've decided to move on. I'll be moving from PA to FL in two weeks, and starting a new job. It's a tough decision because my current company is great, the area is nice, I have a wonderful group of friends here, and my incredible boyfriend just moved back.  So, to say I'm emotionally vested is an understatement.

Why leave?

There are a million reasons that help this decision make sense. And, quite frankly, almost as many that say it doesn't. But, as I was trying to figure it all out...I realized that I was almost paralyzed with fear; the thought of leaving my comfort zone was just plain scary. I was afraid to 'abandon' my managers, coworkers, customers, and friends...And it made me sick thinking that my fear may be holding me back.

The more I obsessed over the decision, I realized my fear was around leaving the familiar. I was more afraid of leaving the "known"...and less afraid of embarking upon the "unknown". Basically put, I was afraid to stop working here - but super excited to start somewhere else.

What lies ahead is guaranteed to be a challenge...personally and professionally. New company, new role, new friends, new home, new experiences....new, new, new!

"All glory comes from daring to begin." 

-Eugene F Ware quotes

The funny thing is - I remember having a similarly heart-wrenching time deciding to leave my first corporate job, too. I spent three years there, working full-time while in college...and really struggled with letting go. Looking back, I couldn't have made a better decision!  And while I won't belabor the reasons I chose to leave my first or current job...I'll say this: Life is all about priorities.

I'm reminded of my 5th-grade self. I was probably at my best then. Hadn't given in to the pressures of societal norms. Wore my baggy shirts and knock-off converses with pride. And was certain that I would rule the world (before the 7th grade, if possible). And I wasn't willing to let anyone or anything get in the way of that. Not even fear.

On the last day of school, the entire 5th-grade population seemed to be crying hysterically. And as I said  goodbye to my friends, I remember being one of the only people with dry eyes, thinking to myself: "If these people are important enough for me to cry over them, I'm sure we'll keep in touch."  I just didn't get it. It probably seemed heartless at the time - but I knew that there were greener pastures ahead. At 26, I'm slightly more emtional than I was at 11...but, the principle remains true. It's tough to let go - but sixth grade  bigger and better things await.

So, as I continue to Let Go over the next two weeks - I'll channel my 5th-grade, more level headed self and repeat the mantra over and over again...

I'm sure we'll keep in touch.

Do I fill your quota?

Someone asked me recently,

"So should I go by your last name and assume you're diverse? Or should I go with my gut and say that, by listening to your voice, I know that you're not."

Wait, what?

Ridiculous.

Needless to say, that was the last time we communicated.

Seriously - I'm a loser.

Okay, so I don't really think I'm a loser...but, sometimes I'm a little lame. I'm writing this while sitting at the Borders bookstore, getting some planograms done for work. For some reason, planogramming seems a little less laborious while enjoying an overly priced "Javanilla Shake" in a public place. But I digress.

Let me set the scene for you - it's nice to have a good visual. On second thought, let me snap a picture of my view:

yep, so here I am on a Wednesday night...working at the local bookstore. Now, I will say that it's not so lame when you consider the fact that I work from home now and I've somehow managed to turn my 8 hour work days into 18 hours....all of which feel like random, 'doctor on call-esque' type of hours. But that's another subject.

A working session wouldn't be complete without Pandora, of course...(or Rdio, which I've also recently grown to love) so naturally I'm listening to some tunes as well.

...When all of a sudden...one of my very favorite 'jams' comes on: "Just Fine" by Mary J Blige. Normally not a problem to burst into song while listening to music, right? Wrong. It's VERY wrong to while at the bookstore! Luckily, just as I was about to begin, I came to my senses and stopped myself. Unfortunately I could not stop the shoulder gyrations. Yep - I was that girl. The only thing more embarrassing would have been peeling and eating a tangerine in this place!

Alright, back to work...

Ping is coming to town!!

What a beautiful day!

Its gorgeous outside today! Remind me of this in six months when I'm cursing this place, would you?

I woke up early, and drove out to The Risser Marvel Farmer's Market. I really liked how cute and quaint it seemed, but it was nothing like my fave, the Broad Street Market! I've written about it in the past because it is one of my favorite things about living up here. There are tons of Amish and Mennonite stands that offer super fresh and organic produce, meats, cheeses...you name it! Today I spent $19 and some change on some delicious produce...yummy!



And I also snagged some all natural ground turkey and ground hot turkey sausage...which tastes so much better than what you get from the grocery store. To top it off, I got some deli meat and cheese for lunches this week. Hopefully my lunches over the week can match today's lunch. One of the Amish stands sells whole chickens that would put Popeye's out of business! I got a half chicken breast for $2.75 and the girl drenched it in hot sauce...MmmMmmm! I took my lunch by the river and enjoyed the soaking up the sunshine!!





Oh yeah, I also got some cage-free, hormone-free eggs! I never thought I'd be that girlwho cared about that stuff...but 1.) it's way more delicious, and 2.) I am becoming more and more paranoid about that stuff with each article I read or crazy food documentary I watch. Have you seen Food Inc.? Eck.

Hoping to get some stuff around the house accomplished today....and then maybe even some work stuff later on. :-)

- Posted using BlogPress from my iPad

Facebook Hiatus

I've been thinking about this for a while now, and I've finally decided to take a hiatus from Facebook. I realized that the time I spend on the site just simply... isn't productive. In fact, it's counterproductive. :-( Boo.

So, I'm not sure if it'll be a few days, a week, a couple of weeks, maybe even a month-long hiatus...but it's necessary. And, let's face it...if it's too hard to do...all the more reason it should be done, right? Ugh.

Hopefully this will give me an opportunity to reflect more on my own life, rather than follow the lives of others. Or actually call and visit with friends more, instead of rely on my newsfeed to keep me posted on all of their excitement. Plus, I really like getting emails...and LOVE getting snail mail! Maybe this will jumpstart things a bit?

Oh well...let's see how well this works: fingers crossed.

Smokin' Summer Kickoff @ The Finger Lakes!

Jared is an awesome boyfriend...really. One of the things I appreciate most about him is that he is a wonderful planner... he cares about making our time together special, and he loves to share new experiences. Thanks to Jared, I've been on impressively planned trips to places like Baltimore, Vegas, Atlantic City, Costa Rica,
South Florida...and the list goes on. It's important to him to create special memories together and to show me his love in these ways. I've learned that this is one of his love languages. (http://www.5lovelanguages.com/). I am truly so Blessed.

We spent the weekend in the Finger Lakes, part of upstate NY area. As I mentioned in the last post, he found a great little B&B for us, perfectly situated in the heart of wine country. With very little advanced notice of our weekend together, Jared still managed to impress!

We had tickets to an event where 30+ wineries participated in wine and food pairings! Each winery had its own unique character. Some were very classy, while others were a little on the...um...unconventional side. Everything from the size of the wineries, knowledge of the staff, and sophistication of the tastings were different at each stop on our tour!

We visited 11 wineries and tasted between 2-5 different wines at each one. Some were so delicious they tasted like Kool-Aid, while others were more "oak-y". By the end of the afternoon, I was able to pick up on various subtleties in flavor...or at least I managed to fake it well enough to convince myself of it! Lol.

My computer is still with the techy folks so I can't upload pictures just yet, but I'l be sure to add some as soon as I can!

For the record, the B&B turned out to be quite delightful (said while pretending to drink my classy, dry red wine (with oak undertones)... Remembering to isolate my pinky finger from the stem of the glass so that it sticks out in mid-air)! ;-)

It was actually nice to sit down for breakfast and chat with our hosts and the other guest. Funny what impression we choose to make upon complete strangers....be it successful or not! And I continue to find myself smitten with Jared, especially in situations like these where his genuine compassion for others really shines.

Wonderful weekend...and praying for an equally enjoyable week ahead!

- Posted using BlogPress from my iPad