Letting go...

"Letting go has never been easy, but holding on can be as difficult. Yet strength is measured not by holding on, but by letting go." 

- Len Santos

Letting go can be difficult. Downright emotional. Stressful. ...and Wonderful.

After more than 3 years of working for the same company, I've decided to move on. I'll be moving from PA to FL in two weeks, and starting a new job. It's a tough decision because my current company is great, the area is nice, I have a wonderful group of friends here, and my incredible boyfriend just moved back.  So, to say I'm emotionally vested is an understatement.

Why leave?

There are a million reasons that help this decision make sense. And, quite frankly, almost as many that say it doesn't. But, as I was trying to figure it all out...I realized that I was almost paralyzed with fear; the thought of leaving my comfort zone was just plain scary. I was afraid to 'abandon' my managers, coworkers, customers, and friends...And it made me sick thinking that my fear may be holding me back.

The more I obsessed over the decision, I realized my fear was around leaving the familiar. I was more afraid of leaving the "known"...and less afraid of embarking upon the "unknown". Basically put, I was afraid to stop working here - but super excited to start somewhere else.

What lies ahead is guaranteed to be a challenge...personally and professionally. New company, new role, new friends, new home, new experiences....new, new, new!

"All glory comes from daring to begin." 

-Eugene F Ware quotes

The funny thing is - I remember having a similarly heart-wrenching time deciding to leave my first corporate job, too. I spent three years there, working full-time while in college...and really struggled with letting go. Looking back, I couldn't have made a better decision!  And while I won't belabor the reasons I chose to leave my first or current job...I'll say this: Life is all about priorities.

I'm reminded of my 5th-grade self. I was probably at my best then. Hadn't given in to the pressures of societal norms. Wore my baggy shirts and knock-off converses with pride. And was certain that I would rule the world (before the 7th grade, if possible). And I wasn't willing to let anyone or anything get in the way of that. Not even fear.

On the last day of school, the entire 5th-grade population seemed to be crying hysterically. And as I said  goodbye to my friends, I remember being one of the only people with dry eyes, thinking to myself: "If these people are important enough for me to cry over them, I'm sure we'll keep in touch."  I just didn't get it. It probably seemed heartless at the time - but I knew that there were greener pastures ahead. At 26, I'm slightly more emtional than I was at 11...but, the principle remains true. It's tough to let go - but sixth grade  bigger and better things await.

So, as I continue to Let Go over the next two weeks - I'll channel my 5th-grade, more level headed self and repeat the mantra over and over again...

I'm sure we'll keep in touch.

Do I fill your quota?

Someone asked me recently,

"So should I go by your last name and assume you're diverse? Or should I go with my gut and say that, by listening to your voice, I know that you're not."

Wait, what?

Ridiculous.

Needless to say, that was the last time we communicated.

Seriously - I'm a loser.

Okay, so I don't really think I'm a loser...but, sometimes I'm a little lame. I'm writing this while sitting at the Borders bookstore, getting some planograms done for work. For some reason, planogramming seems a little less laborious while enjoying an overly priced "Javanilla Shake" in a public place. But I digress.

Let me set the scene for you - it's nice to have a good visual. On second thought, let me snap a picture of my view:

yep, so here I am on a Wednesday night...working at the local bookstore. Now, I will say that it's not so lame when you consider the fact that I work from home now and I've somehow managed to turn my 8 hour work days into 18 hours....all of which feel like random, 'doctor on call-esque' type of hours. But that's another subject.

A working session wouldn't be complete without Pandora, of course...(or Rdio, which I've also recently grown to love) so naturally I'm listening to some tunes as well.

...When all of a sudden...one of my very favorite 'jams' comes on: "Just Fine" by Mary J Blige. Normally not a problem to burst into song while listening to music, right? Wrong. It's VERY wrong to while at the bookstore! Luckily, just as I was about to begin, I came to my senses and stopped myself. Unfortunately I could not stop the shoulder gyrations. Yep - I was that girl. The only thing more embarrassing would have been peeling and eating a tangerine in this place!

Alright, back to work...

Ping is coming to town!!

What a beautiful day!

Its gorgeous outside today! Remind me of this in six months when I'm cursing this place, would you?

I woke up early, and drove out to The Risser Marvel Farmer's Market. I really liked how cute and quaint it seemed, but it was nothing like my fave, the Broad Street Market! I've written about it in the past because it is one of my favorite things about living up here. There are tons of Amish and Mennonite stands that offer super fresh and organic produce, meats, cheeses...you name it! Today I spent $19 and some change on some delicious produce...yummy!



And I also snagged some all natural ground turkey and ground hot turkey sausage...which tastes so much better than what you get from the grocery store. To top it off, I got some deli meat and cheese for lunches this week. Hopefully my lunches over the week can match today's lunch. One of the Amish stands sells whole chickens that would put Popeye's out of business! I got a half chicken breast for $2.75 and the girl drenched it in hot sauce...MmmMmmm! I took my lunch by the river and enjoyed the soaking up the sunshine!!





Oh yeah, I also got some cage-free, hormone-free eggs! I never thought I'd be that girlwho cared about that stuff...but 1.) it's way more delicious, and 2.) I am becoming more and more paranoid about that stuff with each article I read or crazy food documentary I watch. Have you seen Food Inc.? Eck.

Hoping to get some stuff around the house accomplished today....and then maybe even some work stuff later on. :-)

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Facebook Hiatus

I've been thinking about this for a while now, and I've finally decided to take a hiatus from Facebook. I realized that the time I spend on the site just simply... isn't productive. In fact, it's counterproductive. :-( Boo.

So, I'm not sure if it'll be a few days, a week, a couple of weeks, maybe even a month-long hiatus...but it's necessary. And, let's face it...if it's too hard to do...all the more reason it should be done, right? Ugh.

Hopefully this will give me an opportunity to reflect more on my own life, rather than follow the lives of others. Or actually call and visit with friends more, instead of rely on my newsfeed to keep me posted on all of their excitement. Plus, I really like getting emails...and LOVE getting snail mail! Maybe this will jumpstart things a bit?

Oh well...let's see how well this works: fingers crossed.

Smokin' Summer Kickoff @ The Finger Lakes!

Jared is an awesome boyfriend...really. One of the things I appreciate most about him is that he is a wonderful planner... he cares about making our time together special, and he loves to share new experiences. Thanks to Jared, I've been on impressively planned trips to places like Baltimore, Vegas, Atlantic City, Costa Rica,
South Florida...and the list goes on. It's important to him to create special memories together and to show me his love in these ways. I've learned that this is one of his love languages. (http://www.5lovelanguages.com/). I am truly so Blessed.

We spent the weekend in the Finger Lakes, part of upstate NY area. As I mentioned in the last post, he found a great little B&B for us, perfectly situated in the heart of wine country. With very little advanced notice of our weekend together, Jared still managed to impress!

We had tickets to an event where 30+ wineries participated in wine and food pairings! Each winery had its own unique character. Some were very classy, while others were a little on the...um...unconventional side. Everything from the size of the wineries, knowledge of the staff, and sophistication of the tastings were different at each stop on our tour!

We visited 11 wineries and tasted between 2-5 different wines at each one. Some were so delicious they tasted like Kool-Aid, while others were more "oak-y". By the end of the afternoon, I was able to pick up on various subtleties in flavor...or at least I managed to fake it well enough to convince myself of it! Lol.

My computer is still with the techy folks so I can't upload pictures just yet, but I'l be sure to add some as soon as I can!

For the record, the B&B turned out to be quite delightful (said while pretending to drink my classy, dry red wine (with oak undertones)... Remembering to isolate my pinky finger from the stem of the glass so that it sticks out in mid-air)! ;-)

It was actually nice to sit down for breakfast and chat with our hosts and the other guest. Funny what impression we choose to make upon complete strangers....be it successful or not! And I continue to find myself smitten with Jared, especially in situations like these where his genuine compassion for others really shines.

Wonderful weekend...and praying for an equally enjoyable week ahead!

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Bed & Breakfast

Happy Friday! Today was the second "summer hours" day of the year, and oh what a day it's been! As background, my company offers flexible work schedules in the summer time, allowing employees to work an extra hour every day (M-Th) in order to end the workday at noon on Friday! Absolutely a beautiful thing after barely surviving the horrible winter weather!

I worked enough extra hours this week to take summer hours for the rest of the year, but unfortunately that's not how it works. Needless to say, i shut my computer down promptly at noon today. And it felt great. Even better, I turned my computer into the IS folks who will be upgrading me to a new one! This one's been on its last leg since it was new two years ago, so today was an exciting day. More importantly, that means NO WORK all weekend! Holler @ your girl. Lol. But really.

Two weekends ago, after Jared and I spent the weekend in Hershey/Philly, I sent him a meeting request through Outlook for a fun filled weekend in wine country (the beauty of working for the same place...I can schedule our dates online! Lol). Somewhere in NY, near Ithaca, is the halfway point between Hershey and Toronto. This time last year, we actually spent a weekend together in Cayuga Lakes...very near here. This weekend, we (Jared is the master planner...he doesn't trust me to choose hotels for fear that I'll put us up in a Super 8 motel or something) chose Seneca Lakes area...or whatever it's called.

Jared sent me the reservation online...thank God for my iPad and the TripIt app...it automatically downloads all trip itineraries to one app directly from my email. Sweet. Anyway...he chose a bed and breakfast for us. I have to admit, this is my first stay in one...so when he told me about it, I w pretty nervous. I believe my response was, "like...in someone's house?" LOL

Back to this afternoon....I was officially on the road at about 1pm after filing up my tank dropping off my computer. (one more time for NO WORK this weekend!) google maps said the ride would be about four and a half hours...one hour longer than Jared's drive. But when you add in his border crossing...we can call it even.

The ride wasn't bad at all. I typically hate road trips because the blaza tends to um...shake a little when you pass 65 mph. And, well, that's not exactly promising. But now that I'm driving my brand new 2011 Subaru Outback...the ride was delightful. And air conditioned. ::sigh::

My gps said I had arrived at my location right on time. Score! Too bad my destination was a mile marker on the New York Thruway. Not good. Somewhere along the way, I must've taken a wrong turn....onto a toll road, no less. Naturally I was carrying very little cash on me. And what little cash I had left my house with this afternoon, I used to buy $0.99 chicken sandwich fro Wendy's and a bottled water. I knew I should've used my debit card!

About 10 miles later, the first exit comes up and I have to take it. I have only two dollars on me and a little bit of change at this point. Too bad I wasn't in the blazer....there's "emergency money" hidden all throughout that thing. Tons of change all over the place too....mostly by accident and less by design. Luckily the toll was only $0.35. Whew!

Fortunately I found my work iPhone earlier this week and brought it with me on the trip. (it's been hiding in the back pocket of my backpack since my Megabus trip...see earlier post). iPhone came through big time...i googled the right address for the B&B and used the Maps app to find my way. Jared had already put his stuff down inside and was waiting for me, like the wonderful boyfriend that he is, outside in the driveway. :-)

The place is nice and the couple who owns the place is nice. They do have a large dog, which threw me off a bit. I'm so glad I remembered to bring my allergy medicine...or else I'd be a wreck by now!

It's about 11:30pm now and Jared's asleep. I'm wide awake; partly because I've never been good at sleepovers, especially not at a stranger's place (kinda how it feels at a B&B)...and also because the family is celebrating Senior Weekend. I guess they have a kid that's graduating tomorrow. Cue the party. Seriously. From the sounds of it, I'm guessing there are at least 20 people out there, all of whom are wide awake....and wearing very heavy shoes, from my estimations. Lol.

We have a busy day ahead of us. First, breakfast with 'the fam' at 8, and then off to a wine tour and food pairing through about twenty vineyards. I'm looking forward to it.


This is a picture from our 2010 trip to the Finger Lakes

I'll do my best to write some more tomorrow or Sunday and let you know what the rest of our stay was like. Hopefully I'll even have a few pictures from the weekend's festivities!

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Inspired by a challenge online

I stumbled upon a word press blog that challenged readers to create blog entries everyday in 2011, or at least once a week. to help, they provide daily topics to get ya started...here's today's:

Topic #153:

What’s the smartest thing you’ve heard this week? (Lets try to take a positive twist after yesterday’s negative topic).

This is tough because to be honest, I've spent the better majority of my week by myself, without a ton of human interaction. Now that I work from my home office, I miss out on a lot of the usual water cooler talk that used to keep me going. ::sigh:: but don't misinterpret what I'm saying...I do enjoy working from home. I find myself to be far more productive, much more motivated, and way less distracted. But I digress.

Back to the question, what's the smartest thing I've heard all week? That's a tough one. But I think it was when someone told me, "do what you can."

I've spent the last several weeks getting back into the swing of things at work. If you'd like to know what your job security looks like....go on a ten-week leave, and then measure the importance of your role by the number of emails, requests, and to-dos that pile up in your absence!

Needless to say, its been a busy month since I returned to work and I've taken it pretty personally. I've gotten very little sleep, am easily irritated, and doing my best to juggle the competing priorities.

"Do what you can."

Yes, that's the smartest thing I've heard this week. I need to remember that I can only do so much. And when it seems like too much, I need to rely on my Faith and rest assured that if I can't handle it, God will. :-)


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Hug your mom.

Tomorrow isn't promised. Not even at all.

Many of you know that my mom's health has been less than perfect for a few years. A product of orphanages, the foster care system, and the streets, my mother has come a long way in her life...and has dealt with more challenges than a marathon of Lifetime movies could address. But, that's another blog entry of its own.

On February 17, almost three weeks ago, I missed two phone calls and as many texts from my sister...informing me that my mother was being taken to the ER in an ambulance. She had fallen in the dining room...and we would soon learn that she had suffered a serious hip fracture which would mean she'd have to learn to walk again.

That was Thursday. Four days went by before she was stable enough for the hip surgery. (My mom's heart has been weak since the massive heart attack she suffered in 2005. And she's been in kidney failure, on dialysis since 2007.) It's been a long road. And routine procedures like hip surgeries become increasingly complicated when the rest of her conditions are considered. (And I've only mentioned the abridged version of them, for the sake of brevity.)

She finally had the surgery on that Monday night that followed - and she did a great job! Zero complications. To be safe, the surgeon suggested her first 24 post-op hours should be spent in the Intensive Care Unit, where she'd be more closely monitored. Thank God for his foresight.

Less than an hour after her surgery, she flat-lined. Yes, flat-lined.

My mother went into both cardiac and respiratory arrest. Gina and I were standing at her bedside. I'm pretty positive the next minute or two played out in slow motion. We were asked to leave the room...and countless nurses and doctors raced in to save her life. "CODE BLUE: ROOM 2407" was repeated over and over again on the loud speaker, as lights flashed and sirens rang. We walked in the opposite direction of the staff who rushed into her room - we cried in a somber, yet hysterical way... Not sure if that's even possible - but it felt that way. My dad began crying when we turned the corner and mustered up the strength to say, "That's mom's room." We were followed by a nurse who handed us tissues, "They're going to do everything they can for her."

For 17 minutes, "CODE BLUE: ROOM 2407" repeated over the loud speaker. And for 17 minutes, we prayed. And prayed. And prayed some more.

My prayers were selfish at first, I admit. But, as the minutes passed, they became more and more selfless. We prayed for her health, her comfort, and her happiness. And we were devastated, but confident that God would protect her.

"Cancel Code Blue: Room 2407"

We would wait there, praying, crying, shaking, and comforting one another for almost fifteen more minutes before anyone would update us. In the meantime, the others in the waiting room prayed with us, offered their condolences, and cried for our family. Finally, one of the janitors rolled past us with her cart, and motioned an 'okay' sign with her hands. Did that mean my mom was okay?

Nearly thirty minutes after we were asked to leave my mom's room, a nurse came up to us and told us she had been stabilized. He (tried to) braced us for what we would see when we went into her room. She had been intubated; put on a ventilator so that she could breathe. And she layed there, unresponsive.

For four days, she remained that way. Intubated and unresponsive. I've never hurt so much for someone else before - and it hurt terribly, almost unbearably, to see the strongest woman in this world...in such a compromising position. And we had no idea if she was in pain, could hear us, or would come back to us. But, we refused to lose Faith.

I'm certain that as the days passed, the nurses and doctors looked at us with a mix of pity and sympathy, watching us as we sat by my mom's bedside 24/7, talking to her as if nothing had changed. Only two could visit her room at a time, and only one could stay over night....so we took shifts in her room, and made a second home of the family lounge. We bought microwaveable food from the corner CVS store and stocked the fridge with waters and leftovers so we'd not forget to eat throughout the day.

My dad, who has been divorced from my mom for 21 years, remains her best friend. He stayed by her side...by our side...everyday. He stayed awake at night, watching her like a hawk and taking notes of every vital sign, her every bodily twitch, and the times he was certain she squuezed his fingers or blinked upon request. During the day, he slept in his car...while Gina and I took over for our "day shift". We didn't leave her side.

For 16 days, we stayed by her side - which was so rewarding to see her smile at us, wink at us, and blow kisses. Not even a ventilator could stop by mom from sending kisses!

Flash forward to today, and my mom is at home. She was released last night - and originally, the recommendation was to send her to a "Rehab Center". Long story short, Gina and I made a surprise visit to this place that came so highly recommended....and we left in tears. (Also another blog entry). The place was so disgusting, poorly ran, and seemed so inhumane.....we couldn't bear to leave her there! We REFUSED.

We researched other options and my sister and I have opted to do home health care with her as she recovers from this crazy ordeal. The hip surgery, alone, warrants intense physical therapy sessions...but the other stuff is kind of a big deal, too. The details of all the home health care stuff are boring - so I'll spare you that. Just know that we love our mother too much to have left her in that hell hole...and we're Blessed with the ability to spend the time necessary to take care of her ourselves, using home health care accordingly.

I know that we're so Blessed. I'm certain that God has an incredible plan for my mother; one that will allow her to continue to inspire others with her story. I also know that we have been Blessed with some of life's most wonderful family and friends. We received so many calls, texts, fb messages....even visits by friends to keep us company as we waited in the hospital.

To those of you who sent your thoughts, prayers, and warm wishes...THANK YOU! There aren't enough words to describe how grateful we are for your concern and your support. We're certain that God answered these prayers...and we're forever thankful.

I've made mistakes in the past....I've had my priorities out of whack....put some things ahead of others...but want to be certain that I'm more appreciative now than ever before. I was reminded during this time that I have some really amazing friends in my life...many of whom, I didn't even realize were so caring. Others, came through as they always do. And still others, reminded me to be understanding that not everyone handles things the same way. I'm especially thankful for the support and selflessness of my sister, my dad, and my boyfriend...who were strong and selfless beyond belief. And, as you can imagine, my Faith in God continues to strengthen everyday.

Here's the jist of it all: Hug your mom.

If your mom isn't around, hug your dad. If your family life is similar to my mom's...and neither of those are options.......just make sure you hug the people you love. Let them know you love them. Show them you love them. Remind them of it. I was confident in those 17 minutes my mom coded...that no matter what happened, she knew we loved her.

She's doing better now. But, as I said before...it's been a long road...and will continue to be as we move forward. Thanks be to God, the good news is...we will move forward.

Megabus...was a Mega Bust! (wait, no...)

For a whopping $5.00, I scored a round trip bus ticket from Harrisburg, PA to Toronto, Ontario! yes, you read that right... $5.00, I wouldn't have been able to spend that little money on gas to get me there! So what's the catch? I've devoted much of my free internet time in the last few weeks trying to determine just that! Trip advisor, yelp, you name it....I read scores of reviews trying to figure out how in the world they could charge so little for so much!

The website boasts double decker buses, wi-fi access, power outlets, and reclining seats!! Um, sign me up! And to sweeten the pot, they're currently promoting the service by offering 200k free seats using the promo code on their site! (I didn't even have to google it...sweet!)

So what's the catch?

Catch #1: bus stop location
After purchasing my $5 ticket, I searched on the site to find out where I'd catch the bus. In retrospect, that should have been part of my decision making process. Pole #32, between the Toys R Us and Great Escapes Movie theater at the Harrisburg Mall. Not sketchy at all.

Because of the incredible parking lot- pole - bus stop system....I rushed to catch a bus that almost landed me in Philly. Not Toronto. No signs, no ticket machine, no P.A. announcement that your bus is boarding, nothing. You just throw your bag on the bus parked at pole #32, and hop on. Luckily the bus driver took a break from her cigarette to let me know the bus was going to Philly. I grabbed my bag and moseyed over to the nearest curb, rolling my carry-on behind me, and made myself comfortable as I waited for the Toronto-bound bus to arrive.

Catch #2: single decker bus
To say i was "Highly disappointed" when the single-decker bus arrived would be an understatement. Fortunately its on-time arrival lessened the blow a bit. Now I just had to stomach the idea of an 8.5 hour bus ride, at the same level of all the non-megabus bus riders we'd pass on our trek north. What's so Mega about a single decker bus?

Catch #3: why, wi-fi, why?
Okay, so the wi-fi thing didn't pan out. I was so prepared...I had my work laptop, my iPad, iPhone, personal phone, and tons of websites bookmarked that I'd saved for my reading pleasure! Ugh. Te wi-fi was definiteky there...just wasn't working. False advertising, Megabus! Luckily, I packed my verizon mi-fi, a mobile hotspot! Yes, xfinitytv app, I WOULD like to catch up on the latest episodes of my guilty pleasure, "Big Love".

Catch #4: the bus drivers are robots
There was a huge accident with fatalities that closed a major road in Harrisburg. We were five minutes away from pole #32...and BAM! Bumper to bumper traffic!!! For the next hour, we were at a standstill, which was followed by another hour of sitting on the side of the road in front of the exit we were supposed to take. We waited there for dispatch to give us the green light to take the detour. For safety reasons, blah blah blah, dispatch wouldn't allow us to go any route that wasn't previously approved by The Man. Dispatch never gave us a definitive answer so all the passengers took it into our own hands and called customer service to complain that dispatch was ignoring us instead of giving us a new route! Two hours and fifteen minutes after boarding the bus, we had made it less than five miles. Finally, our bus driver convinced the police to let the megabus go thru the closed road. We had a police escort and were the only vehicle allowed to travel on the highway. Plus 1 for megabus.

Catch #5: Clearing customs as a group sucks!
Flying is a beautiful thing. When you cross the border, you're only subjected to the customs shenanigans for which you deserve. But not on Megabus! The thirty or so passengers had to go thru customs together...and could only cross the border once all were cleared. Someone should have told me that the megabus is a breeding ground for anti-war protesters and anarchists! Long story short, we waited on the megabus for nearly an hour while one of our fellow passengers was interrogated by way of a 'secondary inspection'. awesome. I overheard the customs officer say, "so how long will you be here saving the world?". That would have been funny if we weren't already three hours behind.

Catch #6: they're concerned with your safety...which is more like a catch 22!
Basically put, the bus door kept opening up while we we're driving. For the ten minutes leading up to the border crossing, we couldn't drive 100ft without the door flinging open. The bus driver made an executive decision to drive with the bus door open until we got to the border. Once there, he advised us that we'd either have to wait for a replacement bus (it's now almost 11pm by this time), or beg the Megabus driver ahead of us, also at the border waiting for a crazy anarchist to be interrogated, to allow us to pile on to their bus and hitch a ride to Toronto. Thankfully, he obliged. And Hallelujah, double decker bus! It was just as I had imagined it! ANF the wi-fi worked. :-) ...for the first ten minutes anyway.

So, we made it to Toronto in just over eleven hours! And as crazy as the ride may have seemed...I plan on doing it all over again tomorrow for the return trip home! Assuming the wi-fi is working, maybe I'll even look up possible destination spots for my next megabus trip!

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Getting the hang of this...

I've given up things like fried food, pizza, dessert, and even facebook for Lent in the past. And that's always been doable. If I can give up facebook for 40 days...surely I can give up grains, dairy, and legumes right?! Eghh...maybe.

So, here's the difference: moving toward a Paleo lifestyle is a little harder when Jesus isn't involved...and when it's forever, and not just 40ish days. To say I've followed the diet flawlessly would be a lie. It's tough to give up grains and dairy. Legumes, not so much - I've never cared for the legume family. I LOVE cheese. I LOVE bread. Even better = Cheesy Bread. (sigh) But, the decision I'm making to move toward Paleo is one that will be worth the initial struggles and hassle.

Broiled salmon is one of my faves. Here's a picture of my dinner last night. I broil the salmon after first rubbing it with olive oil, minced garlic, a tiny bit of sea salt, and freshly ground pepper. I then squeeze half a lime over it and pop it in the broiler for about 15 minutes (or until the garlic browns a bit). One of the things that helps me the most is the fact that I buy peeled garlic loves from the farmer's market once a month and mince, mince, mince until I have a supply of it to last me for a while - definitely a time saver in the long run! I also cooked up some fresh asparagus - nothing special, just boiled it 'til it was just right. And the salad on the left is made of tomato, cucumber and onion, all chopped. It was lacking a bit in flavor, so I minced some kalamata olives and threw it in the mix. Delicioso! I used the other half of the lime on the salmon...for good measure! I used to top this meal off with feta cheese (just because I like it)...but the cucumber salad was my replacement. Weird choice to replace cheese - but I think it worked. I was satisfied without feeling stuffed...and really felt energized.

I took a trip to the farmer's market this morning and stocked up! Oh, I miss living in walking distance to that place...but the 20 minute drive is well worth all the goodies! For less than forty bucks, I got a ton of veggies, fruits, half a cooked chicken (by the Amish...yummy!), a lb of ground turkey, and a lb of ground turkey sausage. I even had some pork and shrimp kabobs there for lunch =) What a fun way to spend the morning!

I had planned on eating the other half of my salmon filet for dinner tonight, but quickly abandoned that idea in pursuit of making spaghetti squash for the first time. Yum. And as I started to think about it, I figured why not make full blown spaghetti...like I normally would with regular noodles? And that's exactly what I did. Here are a few pictures from my spaghetti squash adventure:

Unlike my traditional spaghetti, I didn't add any sauce at all. I was a little nervous, but the juices from all the turkey and veggies made the perfect sauce and consistency!! The pasta was DELICIOUS! Seriously. It doesn't taste exactly like real noodles...but it's not very far off! And you don't even know you're eating SQUASH! Crazy! But I loved it! The best part about it is that I made enough sauce to last the week. AND I only ate about a quarter of the spaghetti that came out of the squash...so I have plenty of leftovers for lunch this week! Woo Hoo!

Not only did I have a super delicious meal for dinner...but it was completely PALEO! Did I mention that all of this came after enrolling at my neighborhood Gold's Gym....AND working out!

I can do this =)

Happy New Year!

I'm pretty sure that 2011 has the potential to be one of my best years yet. It's weird how turning 25 can suddenly put life in to perspective, quickly and clearly. Very clearly.

For me, 2011 will be a year of Fitness: Physical. Financial. Personal Relationship. All of the above. Although I've spent my entire life striving for perfection (or at least being able to master the facade), I'm ready to finally "just be". Just be me, just be who I want to be, just be happy. With or without the ridiculous, unrealistic expectations set be myself and others. I'm actually giddy at the thought of releasing the expectations and doing what I love most. It'll be interesting because that means starting by first determining what exactly that is...and the surrounding myself with the people who can support me along the way!

I'm excited to get my financial world in order. In many ways, I'm in a great position because I have virtually zero debt. Thankfully, I escaped college without student loans, haven't gotten tied down to a mortgage yet, and am driving a 9 year old car...things could be a lot worse. On the other hand, I'd like to prepare for the future big purchases: home, new car, wedding, and even vacations! This year will be great for my finances. I'm planning on cutting out the extras...and getting back to the basics so that I can spend my time focusing on my goals. In the meantime, time to take a good friend's advice...and start my "side hustle". Stay tuned.

Physical fitness will be super important for me...not just for 2011, but moving forward. I feel so much better when I take care of myself, and I plan on following a workout and diet regiment that will allow me to do that! More on that to come!

Also, I plan on really focusing on key relationships in my life. This could be its own entry...but to write too much, would do a disservice to the thought. Basically put, I want to make sure my loved ones know exactly how much they're loved.
:-)

Finally, I'd like to be more positive. I'm going to start thinking a bit more before speaking, and hopefully do a better job of filtering some negative comments. I tend to focus on negative things quite often, so I look forward to paying more attention to the nicer things in life!


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