Tuesday, April 13, 2010

How I lost my curly hair, my hoop earrings, and my identity in Corporate America...

I started working in Corporate America when I was just 19 years old. I was offered an internship at the headquarters of a Fortune 500 railroad company in Florida. I was certain that it was my big break. All I needed to do was get my foot in the door, meet new people, build my network, collect business cards, send thank you notes, shake hands, and kiss babies. Right?

Well, apparently, that's about all it took. To be 19 and working in Corporate America, it seemed like it didn't take much to impress people. Come to work early, leave work late, schedule my college classes around my internship...and before I knew it, I was working full time and juggling a full schedule of 5-6 classes each semester. There was a year that I even worked a waitressing/bartending job aoub 30-40hrs/week, too! I was busy!

But it was easy.

After completely rearranging my schedule...and my goals (I transitioned out of my Marketing internship within 3 months, and moved into the full time HR role. I had also picked up a double major in Transportation and Logistics, putting my double major in the Spanish language on the back burner to later become a mere minor)...I had done it. I was rubbing elbows with all the vice presidents, had recurring lunches with the board of directors, knew someone in every department, and could pull strings when I needed to. And I did.

I prided myself in the ability to 'play the game'...and I was on a winning streak. I followed all the tips I read about in books, "Dress for the position you want, not the one you're in", "Never eat alone", I learned about every one of the "7 habits of Highly Effective People", and all because I wanted to transform myself "From Good to Great". And I did.

Before I knew it, I was a few months away from 23 years old...and doing the work of a handful of post-graduate, experienced professionals.......for the price of an intern. I spent all of my time stategizing; conjuring up one idea after the next for ways to climb the corporate ladder by 25. And every one of my tactics seemed to work.

It didn't help when people knew I was only 19 or 20 years old. I didn't want them to know I had originally landed the internship through INROADS, a minority based internship program. I had hoped to fit in as much as possible and blend in with the rest of the seasoned professionals. And I did.

I started straightening my hair, and had convinced myself that "curly hair wasn't professional". I can even remember telling my mom that, as I struggeled to straighten my hair in time enough to make it to work thirty minutes before my coworkers did. And every morning, as I packed both my bag for work and my backpack...I would also pack a pair of hoop earrings or jeans to help me transform back into who I really was after work...and moved into 5 hours of classes for the evening.

That didn't last long. I started to associate the things that made me unique and helped me to stand out as the very things that kept me from moving up. And I think I was right. I straighted my hair every morning so I could pull it back in a bun and be as discrete as possible. I avoided wearing eyeliner so that my eyes wouldn't appear any more almond-shaped than they already were. And I refused to wear hoop earrings, for fear of fulfilling every stereotype of Hispanic-looking women that I'd battled for the last 19+ years of my pre-corporate america days. I sought out frumpy clothes at the mall, and opted for button down, collared shirts, blazers, and slacks ...not only at work, but also afterwards. I had worked so hard to squash the intern label and forge a path in corporate america. And I did.

But for what price?

When I left that company, I had a lot to show for 3+ years of experience in a Fortune 500 headquarters office: professional experience in a field other than my major, an incredible resume with things that wouldn't directly relate to a career I had hoped to attain, a closet full of boring, collared shirts, and a strong network of coworkers and friends, most of whom knew only the "professional alex chavez"...and had/still have very little idea of the little quirks that make me so unique.

I spent some time on fb last night looking at the profile pictures I'd chosen to represent myself over the last few years. (Yes, I know that fb should not be the end all, be all of my identity...but you know where I'm getting at with this). And of 71 profile pictures, in only 3 of them did I have curly hair. (or "wavy", as my sister describes it).

My answer to that? Here's a snapshot of me at work today...you may not be able to see it here...but my hair is curly, and I'm wearing questionably large hoop earrings! It feels great.



After brainstorming the entire ride to work this morning about the title for this blog, I knew I had to write about it. And I did.

But what next? We shall see...

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